Lost in Translation – An American Tourist in London

*This funny story was sent to me from Lillie, an American Anglophile who loves London and visits frequently.

For several of my London holidays I had the pleasure of staying in a ‘self catering property’ – a townhouse in Kentish Town, to which I lovingly referred to as “Amityville” (Long story).

Although more house than I needed for just me — it was actually cheaper than a London hotel to rent, and as I became friendly with the owner – and after multiple stays, she’d give me a generous discount, and no longer required her standard ‘damage and telephone deposit’ of £200.00.

It was a lovely place, although in need of a bit of TLC – a Victorian row house – three levels, three bedrooms, double lounge, high ceilings and a beautiful walled garden.

After spending a half dozen of my holidays in this place, I found out that the owner was going to be selling it. She sent an email and asked if I had any objection to either letting in the Surveyor (Appraiser in the US) or the Estate Agent (Realtor in the US) in the mid morning the following day.

This was our conversation once she arrived:

(I opened the door to find a very friendly, tall beautiful dark hair woman in her mid 30’s — the tall version of Alan Rickman’s secretary in “Love Actually”. We introduced ourselves, I invited her in, took her coat, and asked if she’d like a cup of tea or coffee – or something else to drink. She politely declined.)

Agent: “Oh!!! You’re American!!!!”…

Me: “Um…yes, I am”

Agent: “Oh…well done!”

Me: (Didn’t know what to say)…”Um….thank you!”

Agent: “I lived in America for several years”

Me: “Really? How nice! May I ask where”?

(I was expecting the usual response — either California, New York – maybe Chicago)

Agent: “We lived in Wisconsin – my husband had been transferred there”..

Me: “Wisconsin??? Really? In Milwaukee”?”

Agent: “No…we were in Madison”

And then I added, jokingly….

“So…you’re a Cheesehead?”

And she responded with…”Oh no…I don’t eat dairy”..