Interview with Frances Erlebacher

This week I’m celebrating the release of A Yank Back To England, by author Denis Lipman. Below is an interview with Frances Erlebacher, Denis’ wife and most certainly the catalyst of all the adventures that made this book possible. (Wouldn’t you agree Denis?) If you’ve ever wondered what life is like married to an Englishman or a writer, or an English writer, then read on!

Welcome Frances!

When and where did you meet Denis?

We met back in 1990, the week after Thanksgiving—so this week is kind of an anniversary for us, funnily enough! Denis likes to say we met in a bar, which we did, but it was at a reunion of my old ad agency. We all liked each other but there was so much turnover we started meeting up once a month to catch up with those who’d left! One of the ladies, who’d moved to a new agency, decided we didn’t have enough men in the group, so she invited Denis, who was the Creative Director at her new agency to come along. She told me he might give me some writing work, so I made sure to schmooze him.

All the ladies want to know how it was to date an Englishman. Was it like the fairy tale image we all imagine? What sort of differences were hard to overcome, if any?

Well, don’t know if it’s because he’s English, but it was rather like a fairy tale–we fell in love pretty much immediately. We only “dated” for about two weeks before and then we became inseparable. It was wonderful. In terms of differences to overcome, well, he does talk funny, and he still deosn’t believe biscuits are for dogs… I do remember liking that he didn’t like watching sports, and also he was very comfortable around women. And he never played those silly games, you know, where you worry about calling “too soon” or “too much” or whatever.

On your first trip to England and meeting Denis’ family, I thought you took everything in stride. What surprised you most about your husband’s country of birth? His home town? Did you have any preconceived ideas that you later found to be untrue? Any dislikes? Can you see yourself living there?

I’d never been to Dagenham, but I’d been to England before, several times in fact. And I always loved London, I loved the people, shopping, the theatre, everything. I’d never been beyond the touristy bits though, certainly not to the East End, except to the market on Petticoat Lane. I guess what surprised me about Dagenham was the reverse of what surprised Denis about the country: I always think of England as being beautiful and green and charming, and Dagenham was none of those things. And boy, was it cold in the house! One thing that surprised me once we started to travel was how “ordered” everything is–in hotels, you have a table “assigned” to you, in some restaurants you have to order your food and come back, things like that. In one place I was told we were walking around the garden in the wrong order! As you can tell from the book, I like finding my own way, don’t much like being told what to do. Of course, on vacation, you just laugh everything off. At least you try to…I was a bit cranky that one time at Immigration…

In terms of living in England, I love visiting and I’d love to spend more time there, but no, I don’t really see us living there. Our home is here. Maybe Kate will go to college in England though, we’d like that.

Now that you have returned to Dagenham several times, do you recognize bits of Dagenham in Denis?

He lapses back into Cockney every so often, which I think is funny but Denis doesn’t. He does use some of his dad’s expressions, like ” ‘op it,” and “you little bugger,” that’s very Dagenham. And he drinks his tea just like they do in Dagenham–just looking at it makes my stomach cringe. We’ve been told by a couple of posh friends that drinking strong tea is definitely working class but Denis isn’t giving that up.

How did you feel when you found out you would be a main protagonist in your husband’s new book? What concerns did you have?

Since the book was my idea, I couldn’t really complain… I don’t see myself as a main protagonist, I think I’m more of a catalyst, you know? I think Denis, Lew, and Jessie are really the main personalities in the book. In terms of concerns… well, a couple of our friends have been “casting” the movie for years (wouldn’t that be great?) and I just know if it comes to that they’ll make me a cheerful bimbo…

What’s it like living with someone who is writing a book? Lots of late nights and hair pulling? Is it worth it?

Before writing the book, Denis used to write plays, so I’ve been living with a writer for quite a while! This was definitely harder though, because transitioning to prose was hard for Denis–he has a great ear for dialog, perfect for plays–but also because it was so much longer, like writing six plays on one topic. Plus, this was a personal story, he had to relive lots of stuff, not all pleasant, and some quite emotional. I love the book so I think it was worth it, of course! I think Denis does too. And it’ll be great for Kate when she’s older, as of course she doesn’t remember all that much about those trips.

Any books of your own in the future, Frances?

Actually, I did write a middle school book on Greek myths, but we haven’t had much luck finding a publisher yet. I’m hoping once Denis is famous…

Tomorrow we’ll be touring Blighty, Lipman style! See you then.